New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
