Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
