was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
