I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
