My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
