People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
