She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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