it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
