Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
