So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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