She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
