Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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