The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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