Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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