We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She's the barista slut.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
