At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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