Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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