I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
