I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
