my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
