But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
