even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
