The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
