I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
