i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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