come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
