I just made out with a guy for $7.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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