Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
