Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
