please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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