I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
