I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
