She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize