I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
