I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
