Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You're so nebulous sometimes
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
