tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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