We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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