Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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