i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We got so high we made milksteak
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
