ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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