the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
