You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
