i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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