last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
