I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
