garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
