is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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