Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
