We named our party play list daddy issues
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
