the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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