Cold hands, warm shart.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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