the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
