So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
