good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
