Barsexuality is the new black.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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