Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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