I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
kristin has been a bad kristin
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
