It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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