id be glad to
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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