The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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