I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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