filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize