You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You smell like stripper and shame
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
