don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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