apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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