i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
