I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
