I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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