he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
