i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
