I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
