This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
