i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
