hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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