The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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