No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
