the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
