either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
