come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
