Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
